Greetings, felicitations, and fluffy dice.

GREETINGS, FELICITATIONS AND FLUFFY DICE

Now, you probably don’t know me, so let me introduce myself. My name is Jack Rowlands, although people tend to call me Mad Jack. I can’t think why.

Anyway, for my day job, I am an Alley Cat. What’s an Alley Cat, I hear you ask? In a very strange voice, I might add. Well, the Alley Cats are the Bomb Disposal team of National Security Command. So, if you’ve got something that you think is going to blow up, just give me a ring.

It’s a real man’s life in the Alley Cats. We do real man things, like weight training, marathon running, knitting, and highland dancing. And don’t believe everything you hear. One ballet lesson, ONE. Do they let you forget? Do they drumsticks! So, by way of relaxation, I entertain the team with a few of my hilarious stories. Well, I think they’re funny.

In among my own totally awesome original stories are ones based on tales I have heard. Some of them could be described as traditional. My grandfather would have heard them. Others are more modern. Now, I have tried to establish the copyright of these stories, but I have not been able to trace the authors. If you feel I have breached your copyright, first know that it was not deliberate, and accept my apology. Secondly, please let me know, and I will be happy to amend future issues. Now, is that or is that not fair?

Monday 1 October 2012

Pong tiddy pong

I sing a song
When things go wrong
Sing pong tiddy pong tiddy pong

It may be cold and wet
And dark but yet
Sing pong tiddy pong tiddy pong

Pong tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy tiddy tiddy
Pong pong pong
Tiddy tiddy pong
Pong tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy tiddy tiddy pong

When your bills are unpaid
And you balance is red
Sing pong tiddy pong tiddy pong

You sneeze and cough
And you feel so rough
Sing pong tiddy pong tiddy pong

Pong tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy tiddy tiddy
Pong pong pong
Tiddy tiddy pong
Pong tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy tiddy tiddy pong

Pong tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy tiddy tiddy
Pong pong pong
Tiddy tiddy pong
Pong tiddy pong
Tiddy tiddy tiddy tiddy pong
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